


Seventy Years Too Late

by AngelCuttingOnions



Series: The Captains [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Torchwood
Genre: Flirting, Humor, Jack being Jack, M/M, Phil Coulson is So Done, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 01:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20752313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelCuttingOnions/pseuds/AngelCuttingOnions
Summary: “Keep an eye on the consultant for this case. He’s a hell of a flirt and he may get handsy. Donotflirt back.” Coulson explained as he walked the Avengers down the hall into a meeting room.





	Seventy Years Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> Have something I apparently wrote in July and completely fucking forgot about????????

“Keep an eye on the consultant for this case. He’s a hell of a flirt and he may get handsy. Do _not_ flirt back.” Coulson explained as he walked the Avengers down the hall into a meeting room. “We’ve worked out sleeping arrangements and he will be staying at Stark tower with you all. Now before we head in there, let me remind you, any and all relationships between team members must be reported, and the correct paperwork filled out. That being said, _please_ just don’t, I have enough paperwork as it is.” 

An overly cheerful voice from the room spoke up once Coulson opened the door and led the avengers into the room. “You’re about seventy years too late for that, agent.” Steve’s gaze snapped up from the file each of the team had been given a copy of. Red quickly made its way from his cheeks to his ears. Fury pinched the bridge of his nose and both him and Coulson let out pained sighs. “Long time no see, Stevie! How long has it been? Oh! I think it was that time at Katie’s? With the-“

“Jack?!” 

The dark haired man in the greatcoat grinned and winked at Steve. The red on his face made its way down his neck. “Just gonna stand there staring?” Jack made three long strides across the room, put a hand on either side of Steve’s face and pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. A sloppy kiss the super soldier definitely returned. 

When the two parted, Steve stared at Jack in shock. “How the hell are you still-“ 

“Don’t age. Besides, you’re one to talk.“ Steve yelped after a hand found its way to his (absolutely glorious if Jack said so himself) ass, and pinched. Someone’s throat cleared pointedly and the super soldier looked away from Jack, expecting either Fury or Coulson to be glaring at them, waiting to explain what was going on. Instead he looked up to see Clint holding out a hand, looking expectantly at the rest of the Avengers. 

“Hold up there Legolas, they never specifically said they slept together.” Tony pouted, making the archer raise an eyebrow and nod towards his hand. 

“The gaydar is never wrong Tony. Why do you think they call me Hawkeye?” 

“That’s not why they call you Hawkeye.” Natasha deadpanned. 

“Excuse me, you and Tony had a bet about my _sex life_?” 

“Please tell Tony he owes me money.” 

“Oh he definitely does! Stevie have you not gotten laid since you thawed out? Your team is just concerned for your wellbeing. 

“Fuck you.” 

A chorus of four voices calling out “language!” and one immortal wiggling his eyebrows had Steve sighing in irritation. 

“One time, that was one time! Don’t even say it Jack.” Steve then watched as all of his teammates started pulling cash from various places and forked it over to Clint. “Oh come on, all of you? Seriously?” 

“Tasha and Tones were insistent that you were still a virgin, and Bruce thought you’d fucked a nice girl at least once after waking up from the ice, but nothing before. Being the queer icon that I am, I have a superior gaydar that lead me into winning. I guessed you’d definitely fucked a dude before going down, ha, going down, and I was right.” Clint grinned as he stuffed his newly obtained cash down the front of his shirt. 

“Captain, seeing as you clearly know Harkness, you’re in charge of the introductions. Coulson is staying to be the designated grownup.” Coulson looked like he wanted to protest, but Fury left the room before he could get a single word in. 

“I have a complaint! This suit does not do enough justice to Stevie’s ass. Someone please fix that, he has a beautiful ass. That ass is America’s icon.” Steve looked at Jack incredulously.

“You know I can’t even disagree with that? S.H.I.E.L.D is depriving the world of a sight it deserves. I’ll put it in my plans.” 

“I like you. You’re Tony Stark, right? Captain Jack Harkness, good to meet you.” He sent Tony a smile that made even him blush. 

“Jack.” 

“I was just introducing myself!” 

“_Jack._”

“You know I much prefer you saying my name when-”

“_**Jack!**_”

***


End file.
